t’s a link-heavy post. I hope you’re feeling well. I’m here,
I’m glad you’re there.I
t’s a link-heavy post. I hope you’re feeling well. I’m here,
I’m glad you’re there.
Houston, we have a problem...
^ Here’s Uros Medic’s uh… post-fight speech. Listen to the crowd completely go off for Christ. Heartwarming, right? Texas W. You see it sometimes but idk if I’ve ever seen a reaction that big.
Lemme think…
I can’t think straight, sry. I’m listening to uhh… Lazarus by Porcupine Tree lol. It’s a good song.
So good. I don’t listen to much Porcupine Tree anymore. But during my emo time, aaaall day. Still rly good though… uhhhh… Trains is such a good, comfy love song. I remember a comment about… there’s some line that goes something like... “a sixty ton angel falls to the earth”, and it’s like OBVIOUSLY about your plane or her plane touching down—probably hers, you wouldn’t call your own plane the angel. But because the singer was such a gloomy emo gloomster, I saw someone like “I JUST REALIZED THAT THAT LINE’S ABOUT THEIR PLANE CRASHING!” lol like… everything just always has to be as miserable as humanly possible for some people. Even an already-bittersweet song.
Awful.
Hup, 1979 just came on. Nostalgic for a time I never knew.
Hup hup, some Dance Gavin Dance song came on, I have to turn it off. I’m trying NOT to get into them, because I don’t want to randomly get annoyed by some cringe blasphemous line. I have such blasphemer fatigue. Has this every happened to you? This has happened to me at least twice: getting followed by some antireligious or satanist trash website. One of them even had a uh… LITERALLY an 88x31 button that said Murder Christians LOL. It’s so obnoxious. Like I have to assume they do it offend me or something. Okay, you win, I think you’re stupid and disgusting, now get away from me lol.
But, a bunch of wholesome Christians have been following me lately, and that makes me happy.
What was I talking about again?…
Oh, I rly can’t stand much secular music too much. It doesn’t take much to uh, annoy me. And as someone who used to listen to ATHEIST HIP-HOP(throw me off a rooftop, I deserve it) I am very allowed to prefer Christian music now. I’ve PAID MY DUES.
Anyway, Andrew Wells from Eidola is their new singer, so I’m sure they’re mostly fine, and that’s cool but. Eh.
I did listen to one of their songs though… Current Events. It’s uh, FANTASTIC. It’s a fantastic song.
It’s been about 15 years since
I changed my mind about
any opinion
For me, just 10 years I think. (I guess I’m still thinking about the death penalty, but I will defer to the Church regardless). Just a DELICIOUS voice. Here, wanna listen? Skip the screaming and start at a minute in…
I love that guy’s voice. I guess he’s probably the guy that’s out of the band now from being MeTood. I like Andrew’s voice better anyway, that is, I won’t get tired of it. But dat guy’s is very exciting, isn’t it?
I’m so tired of screaming. It’s not even bad, I can tell it’s good because I’m involuntarily nodding my head to it. But I just don’t like it anymore, I like vocals to be as clean as uh… a Japanese train station. Enough of this, I’m turning the St.GIGA archive back on. Speaking of saints, it’s on the Gregorian chanting rn. Relaxing!
What a great find. Remember weeks ago when I told you about St.GIGA? I’ve literally had it playing ever since lol
I’m here. I’m glad you’re there. We are St.GIGA
After I finish Endangered Species, I miiiight start… The Hussite Trilogy by Sapowski, the Witcher author. I implicitly trust Catholic writers (besides, the Witcher books were pretty good). Frankly I implicitly trust Mormon writers too. What I read of Wheel of Time was great—one day I’ll get back to it. And the Ender series? Perfection.
A prerequisite to good art is a love of God. This is obviously true. Even if it’s unconscious. I’ve never seen anything worthwhile that was anti-God. Some things can kiiiinda be good *in spite* of hating God, and what makes them good is the content within them that seems like it could be written by a faithful person. Even, just off the top of my head, what made Carl Sagan’s Cosmos good? Was it the the glory of creation or the(baseless) assertion that “Erm, this is all ultimately meaningless though.”
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz I just remembered the part in the first Witcher book where that monster girl slit his throat and he had to bite her until he heard her crying when she changed back to human. That was sooooo good. And then there was a question of whether he was trying to kill her or not. It’s not answered but he obviously wasn’t because he let go, right? Unless uhh… I can’t remember at what point he passed out I’m literally just rambling now move on
Finished The Cat. Let’s seeeeeeee… I alreeady told you about what happened to the cat. Now let’s talk about the girl.
Life goes oooooooooon(she was 8 when she lostt her cat), and one day when she’s like 14 or 15, she’s caught with a man in his 30s. “They were discovered together in that state which is too easily imagined.” Her age and rank exempts her from punishment. (She’sssss… an Exultant, which are the 7-foot tall gigachads and gigastaceys who are like, perfect).
Apparently he was not, and was sentenced to death. He appealed and it was granted, but uh—I forgot his name, THE NARRATOR doesn’t know if he ever was released from the Antechamber where prisoners are kept. WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, THIS IS FAMILIAR!!!
I THINK THIS WAS IN BOTNS, I think that guy was in BOTNS when Severian and Jonah are thrown in there. I think they meet him.
The Antechamber is uh, a gigantic room, that was once like a suite of offices or something(they have those ceilings you can push up, idr the name, you know) and people are there for SO LONG that they start families, some people were born there and lived there for their entire lives.
I feel like I remember them talking to the guy. Idr whatever happened to him and the rest of them. I kinda have a memory that Severian released them all when he became Autarch, but idk for sure. Even if he did, that guy would have been in there for around 60 years… do I have a false memory now that he was like, always hoping that she’d save him? Maybe I’m making stuff up now.
Anyway, they (girl & man) were set up to be discovered in the first place by some other noblewoman that hates her. When she(our girl) comes of age, she moves out of the HOUSE ABSOLUTE, where all the important people live and she marries some … idk, farmboi in the south or something. Has a good life, kids, etc.
Eventually when she’s old and withered she comes back and requests a suite in Father Inire’s place. He grants it for old time’s sake. Rumors of this GHOST CAT start coming up again. Walking across piano keys, knocking more stuff over, a maid either sees the cat or can see obvious evidence of its existence because she confronts the old lady about it like “hay you should have told me, I have to order food and sand”. Old lady denies having a cat.
Eventually, she’s on her death bed, and our narrator’s there with her at the end. After she dies, a black paw print appears on her sheets, and they find a little doll-like thing next to it. It’s about the size of a hand, and “it seemed in each detail a lovely child just become a woman. Nor was it painted wood, or any other substance of which such toys are made; for when the physcician pricked it with his lancet, a ruby drop shone forth.”
it bleeds.
Father Inire orders it to be interred with the old lady, and that’s that. And now, that other noblewoman who screwed her and her love when she was a teen is stalked by the cat in her dreams.
The last line, my brain is too scrambled to make sense of rn. You wanna help me?
“It is not well for those of high station to involve the servants of their enemies in their quarrels.”
What do you make of that? Who’s doing the involving? Our old Lady or the one who screwed her? And who’s the servant? The cat? “The servants of their ENEMIES”. If it’s the cat, then it all makes sense, but I can’t think of how the noblewoman(I really should have just given everyone names, I’m sorry) INVOLVED the cat in.
Maybe it has something to do with that doll? What WAS IT? Why did it bleed? Why did Father Inire insist that it be sealed?
Is it some kind of voodoo doll? Since it’s “a child just become a woman”, that FEELS like, if it’s her, then it’s based on when she was caught with her man.
...And that’d make sense for the cat to present it to her then, right? He stole it and brought it to her?
But what harm could it cause now that she’s dead? Unless it could reanimate or desecrate her corpse, which I guess it could. Then it makes sense for Inire to want it sealed with her.
Okay… that all sounds about right, right? There’s probably some extra HINTS that I didn’t catch when I read it, but that FEELS basically right. (on the other hand, there’s some clues I can think of which suggest *our* girl is the one who made that voodoo doll—if it even is one. Why’d she request a suite in Father Inire’s house? Could that thing have been the product of one of his machines?)
Well, whatever. Bitch didn’t like her, made a voodoo doll of her or something, cat steals it, now the cat haunts her dreams. Something like that. I’m settling on that for now, even though I obviously don’t have the full picture. I love Gene Wolfe. If I read it another time, I’d pick up on so much more. But I’m satisifed with this.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m okay.
…
I’m not. I’m fine, though. Uhh… in one way, it’s getting easier, but in another way it’s getting harder(shut up). Like, every day that passes is a small victory, and every day I just want to win more. BUT lol. But this morning, I felt something WILD. I had like, a memory unlocked. I felt—I’ll try not to make this vulgar. There was this long-forgotten feeling from my lower-stomach reaching down. And I kinda remember it being like this when I was going through puberty. It’s kinda like a tickle lol. it’s like butterflies in my tummy and uh, I feel more sensitive down there. I REMEMBER this feeling. I feel today like I’m a powder keg with a mustache-twirling cartoon villain holding a lighter to the fuse. I guess a less-stupid way of putting it is that it feels like I’m on a hair trigger. If a girl whispered sensually in my ear right now—if what happened in Wizard’s dream the other night happened to me irl, I’d probably literally explode, blood and limbs flying everywhere, taking her with me. So that’s the dilemma. Every day I’m more motivated, but now, down there I kinda feel like a teenager again.
It’s actually kinda fun and awesome, like it FEELS great, but I’m going to be so stupidly mad if I fail now just because I’ve like re-sensitized myself.
Sorry for subjecting you to this every day LOL. But thank you.
OKAY I’ll—actually we still have to have them battle the Type-Bs anyway… okay, I’ll write… okay, part 41?
Here.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! I’LL TTYL. Pls have a comforting day. Godbless frien